Contrary to what's depicted in the movies and on TV shows, the table manners during the Middle Ages were actually nothing like the barbaric mannerisms that are depicted on-screen. To be invited to a banquet or noble gathering was no small honor and once a guest stepped foot onto the castle grounds, it was expected that they behave in a manner that suited the royalty to which they were dining with. The etiquette began the second guests came through the door and even before that, as each person was even expected to bring their own knife for cutting food with.
As the night went on, there were certain things that were frowned upon; a famed scene that many movies like to portray is a guest tearing meat off a turkey leg with their teeth, and this is actually one of the behaviors that were not accepted at the table. Feeding the dogs of the manor was also frowned upon, although this is another common behavior that's portrayed in movies and pop culture. Whereas one might not think twice about letting out a raunchy belch at the dinner table in front of their family or friends today, back then, it would have been deemed highly inappropriate and borderline rude.
The Good Manners Began With Waiting To Be Escorted To One's Seat
Upon walking into the manor, guests are expected to be gracious and grateful toward their host, starting with the moment they enter the homestead. From there, guests would be escorted to a Middle Ages-style waiting room where they'd await further direction from the manor's servants on where they were to be seated. Around the table, seats would be arranged in order of status within the kingdom with exceptions made only when the Lord deemed it to be so. Outside of that, guests were stuck sitting next to anyone, with the expectation that they would show equal respect to whoever that might be.
Perhaps one of the most taboo acts a guest could commit after being seated at the dinner table is forgetting to wash their hands. This is a common etiquette that did survive somewhat into the modern age as some people will excuse themselves to 'wash up' prior to dinner. However, during the Middle Ages, if a guest refused to do this with the bowl of clean water that was placed in front of them, it was a severe sign of disrespect to the host. There also was no bathroom to excuse oneself to in order to fully wash up because once a person was seated, it was also considered bad manners if they excused themselves at any point during the meal other than for an emergency... Therefore, using the bathroom was off-limits.
For those who were seated next to a woman, the rules were especially strict. There would be no obnoxious laughter (if you were one of the bold laughing types, restraint would need to be exercised) and there could be no inappropriate jokes. The level of respect for the guests seated to either side of a person was expected but for women, the bar for respect was driven even higher. Once the food was served, there were no individual place settings for dishes and silverware - it was expected that guests would bring their own knives, which usually hung around the necks of the men and were up the sleeves of the women. Forks didn't exist and spoons would be rationed with each person receiving only one.
Food was served buffet-style, with each person ushering their neighbors to go first. It was considered rude to pass food to anyone else via the use of one's own plate unless explicitly given permission first, and everyone would help themselves from the communal plates and bowls in the center of the table. Additionally, each person's plate was not to be overloading lest they look like the glutton that today's pop culture portrays those in the Middle Ages to be. Food was eaten only after the prayer was led by the chamberlain, and it went without saying that guests were expected to take small bites, not talk with their mouths full, and to avoid picking at bones and other pieces of meat that might still have food on them. If a guest needed a sauce, it had to be neatly dipped into with a person's knife and if they were eating something that would have required a fork, the knife would first be stuck into the meat, and only then could a person use their fingers to pry it from the knife.