At one point in time, Emily Post, and her rules, were the unspoken law of the land in the U.S. The Emily Post Institute organization still exists in Burlington, Vermont, keeping the history of the etiquette that shaped a nation alive. While the organization still offers guidance to other organizations and consults with news outlets, the majority of the country has either forgotten about the manners that were once so prevalent, or is likely unaware of who Emily Post once was.
Emily Post's authoritative presence in the lives of Americans in the early 1900s may have been one that was heavy-handed but nowadays, that same etiquette has lost its place in a world where 'casual' is a lifestyle. The Emily Post Institute also does due diligence in studying the evolving nature of life today (as dinner parties are not what they once were during the 1940s) but even with those efforts, there are many etiquette rules that have fallen out of place. We no longer do certain things that would still be considered polite and while manners continue to change and evolve (or disappear altogether), so do our societal norms.
Turning Cell Phones Off During Dinner
It's almost comical how far we've strayed from this rule and all it takes is looking up food hashtags on social media to have that fact confirmed. Nowadays, everyone has their cell phones out ready and waiting for their plates to be served, whether it's us in our own homes after cooking a brilliant meal or people dining out at a restaurant. There are some mixed emotions about this, though, as some restaurants appreciate the attention on socials while others would rather forgo it so that people can enjoy their meals without a camera flash.
Waiting Until Everyone Has Been Served To Dig In
Traditionally, it was commonplace to wait until every plate has been set down at the table before diners take their first few bites. Now, it's not necessarily taboo if you dive in before your neighbor has been served their entree. This is especially true if someone orders an appetizer; no one is expected to wait to eat their appetizer until everyone else has had their own first courses. Overall, things are far more casual now and less of a communal meal where everyone has something to nosh on.
No Elbows On The Table
Out of every almost unspoken rule that has been broken from Emily Post's guide, the 'no elbows on the table' rule takes the cake. This was one that was a challenge for those who were following the rules of the times to follow through on, and it's even more difficult now. With so many dining options from high-top tables to cafeteria-style seating and everything in between, it's a challenge, sometimes, just to get the chair scooted up to the table... let alone focus on where our elbows sit in the process.
Serving Women First And Having Men Pay For Everything
At one point in time, this was commonplace due to the societal norms of the decade. Whereas women were mostly housewives and took care of the home, men were working five days a week, thus the logic behind allowing men to pay for women on dates. However, in today's world, gender norms are being challenged and broken every single day - it's no longer expected, or even a notion, that one person pays for the other unless previously agreed upon. Furthermore, women are no longer served first in restaurants mostly because things are casual, and servers will serve whoever is closest or furthest depending on the table setup - or the weight of the plates.
Sipping Wine Properly From One Place
Believe it or not, at one point, there was a rule that required people to sip wine from one place on the glass. If you think it's hard trying to avoid leaving lipstick on the rim of your glass, try matching each lipstick imprint up so that it doesn't travel around the rim! Obviously, this is something that not many people care about anymore... it also helps that we have matte lipsticks that won't smudge or smear.
Leaving Some Food Behind On The Plate
Traditionally, it was a genuine compliment to have left at least one bite of food left on the plate before it was taken away. Symbolically, this meant that the amount of food served was perfect and that diners were able to fill up without finishing their meal. This way, the host or the restaurant would know that their serving sizes were on-point. Nowadays, no one considers leaving food behind unless they are actually full.