If you were ever wondering what Air Force One serves the President to get into the Halloween spirit, this is it.
There is a lot to unpack here, but first a little background. This is the meal served to the United States President as he was traveling to Chicago on Monday aboard Air Force One. The famous 747 aircraft designed as a mobile command center for the most powerful man on Earth of course has a fully-functioning kitchen and can prepare meals as well as any high-class restaurant.
This picture was taken by Time photographer Tessa Berenson and given the following tagline: “The wonderful chefs aboard AF1 were full of the Halloween spirit today with the presentation of these stuffed peppers. Trick or treat!”
While we appreciate the effort to get into the spooky spirit, this stuffed pepper is beyond ghastly.
We’re going to work our way from left to right. First, what is that thing in the upper left-hand corner? A frosted cinnamon roll? An apple fritter? Some sort of boiled chicken breast that has been so heavily glazed in white stuff that we question its origins? Nobody knows, and the White House press pool isn’t saying.
Next, we move on to the easily identifiable stuff. That is almost assuredly a selection of roasted tomatoes atop a bed of leafy greens, two things that this President is highly unlikely to consume given his unique preference for fast food well-done steaks.
And then we have the stuffed pepper. In what is likely to go down as the most horrific visage in human history, the jack-o-lantern-inspired face appears to have been hacked with a machete. We sincerely hope that the chunks of missing bell pepper have been incorporated into the stuffing, but again, we’re aware of what Mr. Trump prefers to eat.
The food on Air Force One today, via the press pool pic.twitter.com/HrGJ2vdWk2— Michelle Kosinski (@MichLKosinski) October 28, 2019
Since we can’t directly observe the stuffing, we can only speculate. There appears to be some vaguely yellow-ish flesh showing between the crags of that crooked smile, so we’re going with a potato stuffing instead of rice, likely combined with ground beef.
This just leaves whatever that white thing is near the lid of our jack-o-pepper. Is it tzatziki sauce? A bechamel? A fried egg? A slice of fine cheese? Or, more likely, is it just a dollop of long-congealed ranch dressing?
We may never know. Frankly, this is one state secret we’re fine with this administration keeping to themselves.