Ah, Las Vegas. They don't call that place Sin City for nothing, and the tourism numbers they produce certainly suggest that people are more than happy to indulge on the stereotype. Vegas seems to play to the most natural of inhibitions within the human mind and body, to the point where many leave there feeling like a shadow of their former selves.
Whether or not you agree with that statement depends entirely on your mindset or point of view, but regardless, there's no denying that there are a lot of activities to take part in over in Vegas that you wouldn't want your partner to know about. In particular, it seems as if it's the husbands that go on these trips more frequently than the wives, which is why we've selected them as our focal points here today.
We'd suggest Las Vegas as a destination you should visit to just about anyone over the age of 21, even if you aren't interested in the most obvious side of the city. There are plenty of fun things for you to engage in and we aren't being sarcastic in that regard, although as you can probably tell by the nature of this piece, they aren't likely to please your better halves.
Vegas is one of those cities that completely overwhelms someone's opinion of a state as a whole, with Nevada being the example here. As it turns out it's a state that has produced some notable folks from past to present, and we're confident in saying that it's a place which will continue to thrive for years and years to come.
27 Pool Parties - Problems Galore
Anyone for a stereotype?
Pool parties tend to be visited by just about everyone who goes on these hot holidays abroad, and it's not exactly difficult to understand why. From the pool itself to the great weather to the food and drink options, there are plenty of ways for you to have a jolly old good time.
However, your wife isn't going to be all too interested in seeing you flirt with girls half your age who have only just come out of college.
So perhaps you should keep this part of the trip to yourself if you want to avoid WWIII.
26 Stratosphere Rides - High And Dangerous
These rides at the top of the Stratosphere Casino should not even exist, or have ever existed, but such is the nature of Las Vegas. Riders who are brave enough will dare to be suspended high in the air throughout the course of the ride, and even if you're a big fan of adrenaline rushes, this could be a step too far for you.
One snapshot to your wife of you on this ride could lead to some serious consequences, and we aren't just talking about having your television privileges revoked.
Of course, she might see the funny side of it all, but that's a dangerous belief system to work with in a marriage.
25 Photos with the Ring Girls - Well, Obviously
Part of the 'fighting' experience that we alluded to earlier is the art of ring girls. You've all seen them either on television or in movies, as they walk around the ring or cage parading themselves for the world to see.
These girls do a good job and while they may get paid more than some fighters on the roster, they certainly deserve some respect.
Alas, your wife definitely isn't going to see it that way, especially if she winds up finding pictures on your phone of the aforementioned ring girls.
So it's probably better to skip the fights or, at the very least, shield away from the ring girls in the unlikely event of you ending up on TV.
24 Yard Longs - Never A Good Idea
One of the standard bearers of Vegas culture. In many ways, this theme runs throughout the United States of America, but it's places like Las Vegas and New Orleans that really take the idea to a whole new level.
These yard long drinks are almost guaranteed to give you a headache from hell the following morning, and if they don't, then at the very least you'll be left with a hazy memory.
If you're willing to test that theory then go right ahead, but don't say that we didn't warn you.
23 ...And Their Prices - So, So Expensive
Seeing as we're already on the topic of drinks, we'll talk about the prices. Now it's not like we're dealing with Zurich or Singapore levels of extortion here, but you're almost certainly going to need to bring some serious funds in order to be able to enjoy yourself out there.
Of course, you can enjoy yourself without any of these beverages, which is a message that we'd always stress to share with the world, but it's not about that. Usually, the prices will vary depending on what part of any given town or city you visit, but with Vegas, it's pretty much highway robbery the whole way through.
22 The Casinos - Be Careful
Casinos are dangerous facilities and you don't need us to tell you that, but perhaps you do need us to remind you of that. It's so easy to go in with the intention of just looking at the flashy lights and eager gamers, before coming out and realising that your wallet feels a whole lot lighter.
We're talking about money that could easily have been spent on a future home for you and your partner, and now, it's flushed down the toilet.
That's not a particularly great position to find yourself in, and it could wind up being the catalyst behind something much worse.
21 Chapels Galore - I Pronounce You...
We've all heard the stories about guys (and sometimes even girls) who take the frequent the bar a little too much and decide to marry either a stranger or their best friend. Vegas is the hub for that activity, which is why there are just so many wedding chapels to be found across the city.
Sure, not everyone is stupid enough to go in and do it, but if you've got a wife who likes to keep you on a short leash, then even sending her a picture of the chapel is likely enough to drive her up the wall.
We aren't saying that from experience or anything, it just seems like an obvious point to suggest.
19 Venues For Men - Well, Erm..
This one is pretty self-explanatory but for the sake of some readers out there, we're going to say it anyway:
You shouldn't go into one of these if you're married, unless you have noted that this is a one-off occurrence when discussing your Vegas trip with your wife.
Even then, it's just not something that you should even contemplate, because if she finds out then you just know that she's going to hold it over your head for the rest of time.
So when you consider making that stumble into an establishment such as this, please, think about the repercussions.
18 A Very Unique Heritage Museum - Off Limits
This feels like a venue that belongs in Amsterdam more so than Las Vegas, but we can understand the logic of putting it here. After all, this is a city that tends to be home to many young kids who enjoy visiting these types of places, whether in a serious manner or just as a joke for their social media page.
It certainly seems a bit grotty from the outside, but maybe we're thinking too far into this. Maybe it's actually a fine establishment that focuses on the pros of marriage and how love conquers all...
17 Flyboarding - Accident Waiting To Happen
"You can go to Vegas, but whatever you do, make sure you don't engage in anything that will actively risk you injuring yourself".
The warning signs were there from the word go, but when you saw that flyboarding was an option, you just couldn't pass it up. It doesn't exactly help that the likes of Casey Neistat have made it seem so cool, either, because it just enhances your desire to partake in such an activity.
In reality, it should be quite difficult to actually get hurt in a serious manner but if you hit the water with enough velocity, then that can get pretty problematic.
15 Extreme Hikes - Think About It
Hiking is an activity that isn't for everyone but in equal measure, it's something that can provide you with a sense of relief following a long, hard day. Alas, when you're away in Vegas the odds are that you haven't really had a long or hard day at all, which makes this nothing more than a dangerous mission on your part.
Due to the unpredictability of hiking itself as well as the weather over in the desert, it's not exactly a big revelation to state that you're going to be experiencing some risks. So, if it's either this or hanging out in a bar for the day watching some sports, we know which we'd rather pick.
14 Outrageous Food - Such Large Portions
Let's say, for argument's sake, that you've agreed to suspend your diet for a week (or however long you're going to Vegas for) in search of just having a great time. Even if that is the case, eating an item of food like the image we've disclosed is taking things to a whole new level of ridiculous.
Over in the States, they seem to thrive off of creating dishes that will give you a heart attack, but we've never really understood the fascination.
Sure, it looks appealing for about five seconds but upon a further investigation, it becomes almost uncomfortable to even look at.
13 Shows that show - My Oh My
The nature of these shows is certainly not going to go down well with your partner. Of course, it adds insult to injury if they're stuck at home and this becomes a little white lie.
The places we mentioned earlier are bad but it almost feels like this entry is even worse, if only because it's much more elaborate.
The nature of the 'spectacle' so to speak will leave you with something to think about long after the show, and that's hardly a positive for your marriage.
12 The Spas - Living In Luxury
This one comes down to pure jealousy, because let's face it, she's going to want to visit whatever spa you attend. Some may suggest that spas tend to just be for women but that just couldn't be any further from the truth, because spas are unbelievably relaxing.
This is the perfect cure for a long weekend of partying or watching the fights with your friends, and it's almost guaranteed to make your other half feel exceptionally jealous.
If you're okay with rubbing it in then go for it, but you probably won't come out of the ensuing argument alive. That's a spoiler, too, not a prediction.
11 Zip Wires - Weeeeee!
Going down a zip wire is a questionable decision to make even at the best of times, but in a city like Las Vegas? Eesh.
Again, this falls into the 'daredevil' type of category that some wives are completely fine with, whereas some wives will chop your head off for even attempting.
It all depends on the nature of your relationship, but for the most part, this one is probably a no go.
It'd be fun at the time but if you insist on testing it out, there are thousands of other zip wires with far better scenery for you to enjoy around the world.
10 Haunted Museums - No, Thank You
Look, we can handle a lot of things that may be deemed stupid, but going into a haunted museum just seems like a recipe for disaster. Hell, even a haunted house is bad enough, and a museum is just bound to leave you shaking in your boots long after you head home.
Many readers may not believe in the paranormal and we can completely understand that, but it's the idea of tempting fate that we don't enjoy. If you're into this kind of practice, especially if you're a fan of Halloween, then go for it - but the missus would probably prefer you didn't bring back a possessed spirit from your trip.
9 Speedway - Adrenaline Sports
The Speedway in Vegas plays host to NASCAR events more often than not, and while that may not sound particularly dangerous, there's always the possibility of it influencing the husband in question to test out what it would be like to drive one of the cars that he sees before him.
Which leads us onto the big problem at hand: driving experiences. If you end up getting surprised by your mates with the opportunity of a lifetime to test drive one of these cars, then we'd highly suggest that you run that by your wife well in advance. After all, she probably wouldn't be too eager to scrape you off of the track.
8 Diving With Sharks - Nope!
At the Shark Reef Aquarium, you're offered the chance to swim with sharks for around $650.
Now, while that may sound like a lot of money, we think that the price of being screamed at by your wife for doing something so ridiculous is much more intimidating.
These sharks almost certainly won't be able to harm you in any way, but unless you 100% phrase it in that manner, your partner probably isn't going to be okay with signing off on it. In fact, we'd argue that she may even call one of your friends or business partners to try and convince you not to do it.
7 Indoor Skydiving - A Tad Over The Top
Indoor skydiving sounds like one of the safest things to do in the world, mainly because it takes out the risk of actually plummeting to your death. As it turns out, though, there's always the chance that one of the machines malfunctions which could leave you with one or two bruises.
If your wife is the paranoid type then perhaps she'll use this as a reason to panic over the possibility of you doing an actual skydive. Then again, maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves - but if you're in that kind of relationship, then you'll know exactly what we're talking about.
6 professional Fights - Don't try it at home (or you'll be in trouble)
From boxing to the Ultimate Fighting Championship, there always tends to be a parade of combat sports on offer for fight fans throughout the calendar year. As such,
There's plenty of violence for you to sit back and enjoy, which is a hobby that your wife may not appreciate you partaking in.
It's not like you're guaranteed to get into a fight yourself if you go and watch it or anything ridiculous like that, but the majority of folks who take part in charity boxing & MMA fights tend to get the inspiration from seeing events live. If you don't fall into that category, though, then you should be fine - hopefully.
5 Helicopter Rides - Calm Down
Unfortunately over the course of the last few months, and even years, we've seen a sharp increase in the volume of helicopter crashes around the globe. They all happen for a variety of different reasons but either way, going on a helicopter ride is exceptionally risky and dangerous.
At least, more so than a plane ride, which is scary enough for a wife to deal with if they're the worried type.
We can't imagine that you'll end up on the wrong side of these statistics that we've all seen, but if you don't want to run the risk of winding up your loved ones, maybe you should stick to walking around the city.
4 Card Game Tournaments - (Don't) Risk It All
Any type of card game kind of falls into the same category as casinos, but you could even argue that this takes it to a whole new level. Simply because there's often the threat of it all seriously backfiring.
The idea threatens to send chills down the spine of any wife, who will fear that you're putting your pride before logic. We tend to agree with them on this one, especially if you end up dipping into your savings as a result.
3 The Shopping - “Let’s Go Back!”
We don't like to dive too far into stereotypes, but let's face it, there are a lot of wives out there who love shopping - and we can completely understand why. After a long, hard week of work it's nice to be able to head out on the town and treat yourself, and if they see that their husbands are in a great city for all of that, they'll almost certainly experience some jealousy.
They'll immediately want to head back out there themselves either with or without their husbands, which creates a whole new set of problems in itself. Sure, it could be nice to go as a couple, but it's not really the kind of place for that in terms of the bigger picture.
2 Wine Cellar & Tasting Room - The Finer Life
Not only are the wine tasting experiences over in Vegas expensive, but again, they also serve as an activity that most wives would love to partake in. Wine tasting is often available for everyone to enjoy and a lot of men do, but it does tend to be done by females and their friends.
You can go wine tasting anywhere in the world but heading out to the West Coast tends to provide you with the best possible experience, or at the very least, it gives you a taste of the finer life - especially given that Napa Valley is right around the corner.
1 The Mob Museum - Bright Ideas
We just don't understand this one, to be perfectly honest with you, and it feels like we're not alone in that.
Mobs, and mob bosses, often serve as the lowest of the low when it comes to society - mainly because of the ideology behind it all. Great, you run around intimidating people in suits for the sake of it, what's so cool about that? Glorifying the idea of them is just silly in our mind, and husbands should avoid telling their wives about their visit to the museum if they decide to go there.
We personally wouldn't want to engage in this anyway, but again, the same could be said for hundreds of you reading this for every single entry.