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15 Themed Resorts We'd 100% Avoid (10 We Need To Visit ASAP)

When travelling the world, it's important to make sure that we're going to places that push all of our buttons and offer us the chance to see and experience things we wouldn't be able to by staying at home. That being said, it's also important to make sure that we have somewhere to stay while travelling so that we don't end up sleeping on the street or in a gross hostel that we didn't plan on staying in, what with it being a last minute decision made by somebody who hasn't properly prepared!

What we've done is pull together a list of themed resorts, fifteen of which we would never want to spend our money on, followed by ten more than we wish we could stay in on a nightly basis. We promise every traveller out there that they will see some stuff here that will surprise them, as well as pique their interest. We want to make sure that everybody get a chance to stay in some truly brilliant resorts, while staying away from the more ridiculous ones.

So, are we ready to look at some good and bad theme resorts? Want a chance to make sure that the hostel that's been picked is the right one? Well then, we better get started!

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25 Yunessun Spa Report - Japan

via: diversity-finder.net

As you should be able to tell from this image, this isn't exactly the standard spa that many people find themselves in all year round, offering the chance to bathe in wine rather than water.

To some people, this will seem like a true sign of decadence, but we don't think that it would be as nice as it sounds if we're being honest.

Water can get pretty gross and clingy once a few people have set foot in it, so we can only imagine how cloying wine can become in the same situation. Bathing in smelly wine is not something we want to do.

24 Jules' Undersea Lodge - Key Largo

via: cheesetraveller.com

At first, the concept of staying underwater and knowing that you are sleeping among the secret world that exists under the sea sound really exciting, and then you actually think about it for a second.

We know that there will be a lot of safety procedures put in place, but looking at that window in this image just makes us think about it smashing and seeing water come flooding in.

Sleeping by that window really isn't something we'd be able to do. Somebody would have to pay us to do that.

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23 The Dog Bark Park Inn - Idaho

via: wikipedia.org

Look, we've got to a point in our adult lives where we know that people who say they don't love dogs are not to be trusted, so anybody who wouldn't want to stay here is either a liar or somebody we don't want in our life.

Not only is everything themed around the concept of dogs, but we can only imagine that people often bring their dogs to this place as well.

We have dreams of a doggy paradise, where we can fall asleep in a doggy themed room before waking up and running around with loads of dogs in the nearby parks.

22 Crane hotel - amsterdam

via: booking.com

We've already explained our problem with heights, so it should be obvious to anyone why we wouldn't want to stay in a crane.

The thought of being in one of these while conscious and aware of what is going is bad enough, but the thought of having to climb up while we're groggy and trying to go to sleep that far off the ground is enough to give us a panic attack!

We can only assume that the sorts of people who would enjoy this are the type of people who seek out thrills across the world, so they can have this room instead of us.

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21 Treehotel - Sweden

via: treehotel.se

As a child, we loved the concept of staying in a tree house, and we probably would've been happy if our parents would've let us sleep up there, but there were a lot of things we liked as a child but don't as an adult.

One of those things is the thought of being high up in a tree as we slept.

We know that they're kitted out unlike any other tree house out there, meaning that we wouldn't be cold, and there would be some seriously brilliant views from up there, but is it worth it?!

20 Silostay - new zealand

via: silostay.nz

Before we start on this one, we do have to say that we like the fact there are people out there that are trying to create eco-friendly places to stay in a world that is struggling to go on. There needs to be more of this in the world.

However, do we really have to stay in old silos to have an eco-friendly holiday? Why aren't we able to stay somewhere that looks nice and feels comfortable while also making sure that we take responsibility for our footprint on this planet?

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19 Das Park Hotel - Austria

via: curbed.com

Look, we know that some people out there want to stay somewhere quirky, somewhere that they believe represents who they are as a person, but there is nothing cool or interesting about this themed resort.

We can feel how uncomfortable these rooms must be just by looking at them!

Throw in the fact that there's no chance these can be properly heated, and we've got ourselves a pretty unpleasant hotel that nobody should want to stay in, whatever the reason.

18 V8 hotel - stuttgart

via: travelhotel.me

We've never been bothered about cars, but even for the people who eat and breathe vehicles, this is an odd choice of themed resort, right?

It's not as if this sort of thing will fulfil their want to learn about cars, rather surround them with car memorabilia for them to take a look at between the times they'll sleep.

What we're saying is, this themed resort offers a surface chance to engage in something that interests the customer, with no real depth to it at all.

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17 Magic Mountain Hotel - Chile

via: mybestplace.com

We shall start by saying that anywhere that has magic in its name has a lot to live up to, and we think this image along shows just why people can plan on having a magical time if they choose this resort.

Not only does it look magical, but this place offers the chance to ski like never before.

With the beautiful views, the magical atmosphere, and the huge number of ways that people can ensure they're entertained, we don't see why anyone would choose not to stay in a place like this.

16 Inntel Amsterdam Zaandam

via: cntraveler.com

Straight away, this image should tell everyone that if they're looking for somewhere visually striking to stay, they could do a lot worse then this place!

This place is actually made up by a number of homes all attached to one another, making it a genuinely interesting place to stay while in Amsterdam.

There are a lot of hostels that people can stay in in this city, but we think that people should go out of their way to stay in this architectural marvel if they ever get the chance to!

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15 No Man's Fort - UK

via: charvet.co.uk

Just off the coast of England, this fort actually took fifteen years to build, meaning that it was finished well after it was really needed for military purposes.

Years later, it was bought and turned into a luxury place, complete with swimming pool. Then, it was bought again, before being refurbished into a luxury resort. Despite all of these facts, we don't have any time for a fort when it comes to where we want to stay on holiday.

14 Woodlyn Park - new zealand

via: internationaltraveller.com

We never really enjoyed the Lord Of The Rings series, so the ability to stay in the shire doesn't really appeal to us.

However, there will be a lot of people who want to stay in a Hobbit hole, even though they'll have to crouch down to achieve anything, just because it gives them a look at how the movie they love was originally made.

It just means nothing to us, so it would be a chance for us to stay in a room like any other, but be incredibly uncomfortable at the same time.

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13 Icehotel- sweden

via: discover-the-world.com

Who would want to stay somewhere that they have to cover themselves in reindeer hide and thermal sleeping bags just to try and be comfortable as we sleep?!

We know that for some people a holiday can be about putting yourself in a place that you would never find yourself in during your normal life, but we prefer being able to relax during that time!

It may look pretty cool, while also providing a pretty cool story, but there's nothing relaxing about this level of cold.

12 Karosta Incarceration Center

via: glamgrid.com

The concept of being able to take a guided tour around an old incarceration centre is actually something that appeals to us, but would we really want to stay in one while on holiday?

Not only do people sleep in this place, but the people who work there offer what they consider to be a real experience by yelling at the people who stay there.

Yes, rather than a completely refurbished resort, this is a chance for people to see what it would've been like to actually be a captive!

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11 Palacio de Sal - Bolivia

via: rainbowtours.co.uk

There's nobody out there that hears the words salt flat and finds themselves getting excited, which is why we're not too keen on this themed resort if we're honest.

It's cool that the rooms are carved out of salt blocks, offering some pretty interesting views from inside the resort.

However, we can only assume that this sort of things gets pretty boring after a while, not really allowing people the chance to experience anything they wouldn't already experience anywhere else!

10 El Cosmico - Texas

via: elcosmico.com

This place is a huge camping ground where people are allowed to pay to set up their own places or rent one of the many trailers that are dotted around the place.

It's perfect for anyone that wants somewhere to stay during a long road trip but doesn't want to resort to the same sort of boring hotels and hostels that everyone else will be using.

It offers some brilliant sights and privacy like nowhere else on this list. We say it's well worth your time and money.

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9 Propeller Island City Lodge - berlin

via: internationaltraveller.com

This resort is actually referred to as an art installation, which should tell everyone reading this list all they need to know about why we wouldn't want to stay at this resort.

We like some visual art as much as anyone else, but somebody that is trying to create a place to stay that can double up as an art installment likely doesn't know what they're doing.

What we're saying is, this resort will offer two different things to an average extent, rather than focusing on one and doing much better!

8 The Manta Resort - Africa

via: themantaresort.com

This is another underwater room that somehow ends up being scarier than the one we've already shown you, by placing the water all around the person who is attempting to sleep soundly!

We're sure that everything about this underwater room is safe and up to code, but we couldn't get comfortable when there's a chance one of those windows could break at any moment, followed by water flooding into the room as we were rudely awaken from our slumber!

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7 Giraffe Manor - Kenya

via; yellowzebrasafaris.com

Okay, so we think that everyone should understand why we would want to stay in this resort, as it's a chance to live in style while interacting with some lovely creatures seen nowhere else!

Sure, we could go see them on safari or in a zoo, but this is a chance to stay in some proper digs at the same time.

The concept of being able to eat breakfast while we pet a giraffe is something that appeals to us in a big way, and we can't understand why others wouldn't want to do the same.

6 Hotel Marqués De Riscal - Spain

via: fodors.com

While this hotel refers to itself as a luxury resort, meaning that only the richest of the rich will likely be able to afford to stay there, we think it's well worth the money.

If you have it, we suggest spending it on a place like this.

Not only does the architecture look unlike any other hotel on this list, it's also a chance for any richer travellers to relax in style. It really does live up to the luxury part of the name luxury resort!

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5 Sheraton Huzhou hot Spring Resort - China

via: agoda.com

Another luxury resort, this time in China, this donut shaped resort is kitted out with some seriously fun forms of entertainment, such as a pool and a wellness center.

People will want to visit the various places to eat within the building as well, before retiring to one of the many rooms within the complex, most of them with their own terraces.

For those with the real cash, the resort boasts a very impressive suite, but this is only for people who can really afford to splurge.

4 The Caves - Jamaica

via: temptingplaces.com

Based in Jamaica, this resort allows travellers the opportunity to stay within caves that have been carved out of the natural rock.

Obviously, the caves have been spruced up and the people in charge have added things like a bar for people to properly enjoy themselves while staying there.

It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to stay in a place like this, and we assume that the people who stay there always end up leaving happy once their time is over!

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3 Jumbo Stay - sweden

via: booking.com

We can understand why some people want to never look at a plane while they're on holiday, let along stay in one, but we think the novelty of this hostel is well worth a look.

Inside a decommissioned jumbo jet, this place allows people a chance to see the inside of a plane like they've never seen it before.

For people who regularly travel and have to see the inside of a plane at its most stressful, it could be fun to have a relaxing time in one for a change!

2 Ariau Amazon Towers

via: vice.com

Look, we can understand why some people would love this sort of resort, but to people who don't like heights, finding out you're sleeping in a tower in the jungle is quite possibly the scariest thing possible.

There are only six towers, but these include a total of 288 rooms spread across all of them.

We're not saying we wouldn't want to visit and see these towers for free, but the fact that people pay money to be this high off the ground as they sleep is really scary to us. We're scared thinking about it.

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1 The Witchery By The Castle - Edinburgh

via: telegraph.co.uk

It's only adults allowed in this wonderful place, meaning that people can be sure they won't be distracted by any loud children.

This is a resort that allows people to go back in time, staying in a 16th Century house that has been restored to its opulent brilliance.

Honestly, we don't think people will be able to travel after they've stayed in a place like this, as no other hotel or hostel will manage to live up to the luxury that is on offer at this place!

Sources: Ranker; Telegraph

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