Nobody can ever really dictate to you what you'll enjoy doing or where you'll enjoy going on your birthday. At the end of the day, you know what your likes and dislikes are, and you know what will give you the most joy as you celebrate the anniversary of your birth. Still, for those looking to celebrate over in the United States of America, we're pretty confident that we can provide you with some sound advice.
The USA is a very odd place and expats from every corner of the planet will confirm that, with a series of issues to go alongside some of the best cities in the world. Alas, not all of these cities are great when it comes to providing you with lots of things to do or see, which is why we've gone through and picked out ten of the best and ten of the worst - in our own opinion.
Your likes and dislikes could always have a serious impact on this list but in terms of the information we've been able to gather, we'd say this is pretty concrete. Obviously, celebrating your birthday can take on many different forms, but we've got for a mix of scenic beauty and fun adventures that can be enjoyed by people of all ages (well, for the most part).
As Europeans, you could certainly make the case that we have absolutely no idea what we're talking about but in equal measure, we're probably in the best position to judge this kind of thing. We understand the many stereotypes associated with the States, and we want to look past those to a point where we can come to a reasonable understanding with this list.
20 (Best!) Las Vegas, Nevada
Even though we just touched on how stereotypes can be a bad thing to deal with, we're starting off strong with an entry that always causes some friction - Las Vegas. Look, we understand the controversy and we understand why some people would rather whack themselves in the face than go here, but it's Vegas.
You're bound to find something that you can enjoy in Nevada's centrepiece, which is continually trying to improve its image with each and every passing day. Sure, it's going to take a while for them to do that, but we think they're off to a pretty solid start.
19 (Best!) New Orleans, Louisiana
Come on, guys, let the good times roll.
New Orleans is a city that has been hit by devastation on more than one occasion, and yet, they always seem to come out of the other side fighting. That's a great quality to have, and it represents the spirit that they have down there.
They're constantly aiming to provide tourists and locals alike with the best possible experience, regardless of how long their stay in NOLA may be. New Orleans isn't just a place for partying, because it's also a place where people come together and celebrate life. That, in itself, is a pretty powerful thing.
18 (Best!) Miami, Florida
Florida is known for being a polarising state, with some people loving the attractions whereas others can't stand the inconsistent weather. Whichever side you fall into there's no denying it's a fairly incredible place, and Miami serves as one of the hubs for that.
Not only is Miami Beach just a tremendous place but the shopping in the city is fantastic, they love their sport, the weather is always gorgeous - and it's one of the few places on the planet where you can live a life of luxury and genuinely feel like you're on top of the world. Trust us on that.
17 (Best!) Nashville, Tennessee
Tennessee is one hell of a state, and when you've got so many bustling cities it can be difficult to narrow down which are our favourites. Alas, as is the nature of this list we decided to pick just one, and we've decided to go for Nashville.
From the college parties to the unbelievable music scene, Nashville really is the definition of a city that never sleeps. It may not have the same kind of reputation as the places that you're picturing in your mind, but believe us when we tell you that you'll be dying to go back here after a quick weekend visit.
16 (Best!) Chicago, Illinois
If you aren't already planning a trip here based on the deep-dish pizzas alone, then we really do question what else your birthday is going to entail. Chicago really does feel like the unofficial capital of the States, from the outstanding sports teams to the culinary delights and beyond.
You could spend a month here and you'd still feel like there's a bucket load of things left to do, and let's be honest with ourselves, that's how you're supposed to feel. 99% of people who head out to Chicago never want to leave, or at the very least, want to return within a matter of weeks.
15 (Best!) Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Philadelphia is a city that can now officially say that they play host to the Super Bowl champions, and that's something that very few locals could've ever imagined they'd hear again.
Still, we understand that it isn't necessarily most people's cup of tea, so perhaps we can interest you in a trip down memory lane through one of the cultural hubs of US heritage.
From declarations all the way through to Philly cheesesteaks, it's hard to find many reasons NOT to visit the City of Brotherly Love at least once throughout your lifetime.
After all, it's not all too far from The Big Apple.
14 (Best!) New York City, New York
When you think of iconic cities, not just in the States but across the world, New York City instantly comes to mind. From the music to the theatre to the neverending lights in Times Square, there are very few reasons to deny that this is one of the best places to be found around the globe.
NYC can be an acquired taste for some and we aren't trying to glaze over that fact, but if you just give it a chance, then you'll be able to know one way or another. We personally love it, but that unpredictability is what will keep you on your toes.
13 (Best!) Orlando, Florida
There's a reason why quarterbacks proclaim that they're going to Disney World on a year-by-year basis after winning the Super Bowl - and that's because they get paid a lot of money to do so.
But, of course, it's also because it's an incredible park, alongside the feast of other great parks that Orlando has to offer. It's the perfect vacation spot for people travelling in from outside of the States, and we're pretty confident in saying that the majority of people have enjoyed a fun trip or two there with their families over the years.
If nothing else, International Drive is an absolute blast.
12 (Best!) Austin, Texas
They say everything is bigger in Texas, but they fail to also tell you that everything is better in Austin. From the gorgeous parks to the friendly natives and the exceptional nightlife, Austin is a worthy capital for the biggest state in the US.
Austin has a warm feeling that many other cities in Texas and surrounding states just don't possess, and it just seems to be because they put the work in on a day by day basis. It looks beautiful, it has a great vibe, and it's pretty much everything a city of that stature should be, really.
11 (Best!) San Diego, California
SeaWorld might not be your thing, but affordable prices, great weather and Balboa Park are three of the many reasons why San Diego would be a great birthday destination. Sure, it doesn't jump off the page in the same way as San Francisco and Los Angeles, but it just has a little bit more character.
San Diego doesn't take itself too seriously as a city, and that's something we can respect. You go, have a good time, and you can still appreciate the architecture, tourist spots and food/drink options in peace.
As far as major coastal cities go, San Diego is up there with the best of them.
10 (Boring!) Detroit, Michigan
Detroit is known for being a fairly average city on the best of days, as well as one that possesses some of the worst weather throughout the United States. Still, that doesn't really compare to high levels of sketchy activity, which is enough to put anyone off a visit.
When you're enjoying your birthday you want to spend your time chilling out with your friends, family or partner, as opposed to looking over your shoulder. That may sound a little bit overdramatic, but aside from its sporting background, there isn't much to shout about for Detroit - which is the harsh truth of the matter.
9 (Boring!) Dallas, Texas
When you hear Dallas, Texas you think big time. You think WrestleMania 32 or the Dallas Cowboys because let's face it, that's the kind of scale we're talking about here. Still, just because it's a big city, that doesn't necessarily mean it's all that enjoyable.
Given what it costs to get there and enjoy a week or two there, you don't really get much for what you're paying and that's the honest truth. The historic JFK spot is interesting, but it's not necessarily somewhere you'd want to visit if you're trying to enjoy your birthday, is it?
Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
8 (Boring!) Manchester, New Hampshire
When people think of Manchester they often think of positive connotations courtesy of the UK equivalent. Unfortunately, over in New Hampshire, Manchester is known for being pretty industrial with no real nightlife or major forms of entertainment to speak of. It's cheap, and the people there are often incredibly well educated, but that doesn't often make for a great birthday.
Still, if you want to earn a good income, this might be a good place to start looking.
7 (Boring!) Chandler, Arizona
When you're out in the middle of the desert it can be pretty tough to enjoy a solid standard of living, unless you either don't care all too much about the weather or aren't particularly interested in venturing outside of your comfort zone.
In Phoenix, that's not too much of an issue given that it's a pretty big city, but in Chandler, there just isn't all that much to do. It's known for having a rising crime rate which isn't something you usually associate the state of Arizona with, but as we've learned in the past, you should never judge a book by its cover.
6 Oakland, California
The story of the Oakland A's as well as the Golden State Warriors is great and all, but sporting success only gets you so far in a city that is really, really struggling. Whilst hot temperatures are all the rage in Oakland, you wouldn't be able to tell it's located in California just by taking a quick glance at the city.
The pollution is at a really bad point, things aren't good at all from a financial standpoint, and unless you're visiting your family, it doesn't feel like a nice place to go when you're supposed to be in celebration mode.
If it was us, we'd end up feeling a little bit bummed out if this was the end destination for a surprise birthday getaway.
5 (Boring!) Baltimore, Maryland
We aren't going to go so far as to suggest that Baltimore has no redeeming qualities because that wouldn't be the case, but we're just going to try and look at things objectively here. Baltimore deserves better when it comes to the management of the city, but until that happens, we don't recommend a visit there.
The economy is struggling, the locals can often be a little bit unpleasant, and you're more likely to find trouble than a good time. It's certainly not one of the worst cities in the States and some great people have come out of there and gone on to better things, but it just doesn't measure up to our ten other alternatives.
4 (Boring!) Cleveland, Ohio
LeBron James isn't quite enough to save Cleveland from appearing on this list and to be perfectly honest, it's not something we're going to think twice about. The problem with this Ohio city, in short, is that people tend to be pretty unhappy there - whether it be courtesy of sporting reasons or otherwise.
It's partially our fault for allowing the media narrative to somewhat cloud our judgement, but until proven otherwise, we'll continue to believe that Cleveland doesn't really deserve a spot in the 'best ten' as opposed to some of the other entries. If you wanted to go and watch a Browns game, for example, that'd probably just make your birthday even worse.
3 (Boring!) St. Louis, Missouri
The surrounding areas of St. Louis alone should be enough to put you off the city, but on top of that, there are just so many better alternatives located within just a few hundred miles of the place.
It's not too bad and it's not too good - STL (St. Louis) is just kind of there. The Gateway Arch is symbolic and it always will be, but we're talking about a birthday celebration here. This is something that comes around once a year and you never know how many of them you're going to get.
Do us a favour, and go bigger.
2 (Boring!) Minneapolis, Minnesota
If you want to go and catch a Vikings game or head to the Mall of America then you can be our guest, but do those two reasons alone stack up against the freezing climate and the lack of all other tourist spots? Minnesota is a lovely state when it comes to the people, but it's not exactly making any headlines in the ways of tourism.
There's been a great deal of investment into making the city more accessible and more enjoyable from an entertainment standpoint, but these kinds of projects take time. In a few years, we could be referring to Minneapolis as a high-level city, but not right now.
1 (Boring!) Stockton, California
The Stockton Slap, delivered to many, courtesy of Nate Diaz, brought to attention the city of Stockton - and not in a good way. This city is rough by definition, and unfortunately, there's no real good way of sugar-coating it.
Mayor Michael Tubbs seems intent on reinventing the image of the city and that can only be a good thing, but this isn't even a great place to pass through let alone to spend the night in.
It seems like we're picking on Cali a little bit, but trust us, these places have so much potential and it's time for them to start realising that.