Booking cruise ships is one good way to spend anyone’s vacation time. There is a certain calm and homey vibe cruise ships have on most vacationers unless you have (any or all of) aquaphobia, hypochondria, or claustrophobia. But if you don’t, we assume you’ve been to at least one cruise in your life. If not, read on, for this is a good starter to the first-time cruise ship customer. Today, cruising offers more than an escape from dry land and a scenic tour of the oceans and surrounding landscapes. Apart from the island destinations, exotic places, and wonderful cuisine, there are various forms of entertainment that would provide a tourist with weeks of activities.
But beware, for there are a number of activities so cheesy that just the thought of witnessing it firsthand would make us shiver and reject it but in a harmless way. After all, these activities are done in good fun, and we are never required to do them. No is always an option, but we don’t want to be party poopers or mood killers all the time we’re onboard. Here are 25 images of activities that we might want to avoid before they even start and trap us like a deer caught in the headlights.
21 Scavenger Hunts
Sounds like a game our parents made for us when we were kids, right? Scavenger hunts are another embarrassing game we don’t want to get caught up in. They are cheesy, time-consuming and would make you scamper from one corner of the vessel to another, looking for things on the scavenger checklist. At least you get to make acquaintances if the gamemaster broke the big group into random teams of people. But other than that upside, this activity just screams cheesy through and through.
This particular cruise ship activity is the first in a list of supposed extreme, high-octane activities that we’d never thought to see set up on a cruise ship. But we have to hand it to these cruises, they find a way all the time. If you are anything remotely close to an adrenaline junkie, you know how cheesy it is to go ziplining on a ship. It would be a first, but it’s not something to brag about with your more adventurous pals.
19 Conga Lines
Do not ever get caught on video, or even in pictures, lining up in a merry way around the hall in a human caterpillar dance. Conga line is the captain of cheesiness, but a lot of people seem to enjoy it. What’s not to enjoy? A nice, classic dance move, real simple to do, with maximum fun. Dance to the beat of the Miami Sound Machine, with Gloria Estefan on vocals, no less. You know you can’t control yourself any longer, so, come on, shake your body!
18 Movie Theaters
The cruise ship industry is surprisingly caught up in the technology of theaters. They not only have great-looking, very comfy 3D theaters, but there is also at least on the cruise ship that has a 4D cinema. MSC Cruises is proud to have 4D theaters on their ships, although they’re small, only 10 seats, it is still a kind of achievement in the industry always cooking up new ways to entertain their passengers. But why go onboard a ship only to do something that you can always do on land?
17 Ice Bars
Enjoying drinks inside a freezer can now be done onboard cruise ships. To present it more sophisticatedly, cruises now have what they call ice bars. Try not to shiver and shake while you deliver your pick-up line at the bar, or order a drink from the zero-cool bartender. Not to worry, the bar offers coats and gloves, the proper attire for any regular ice bar, before entry. Of course, the house has a max limit of heads at a time, as per any other bar on land. But we are not allowed to linger at the door, the cold will escape, so go in or don’t; just decide quickly.
16 Singing Karaoke
This is the second part of the cheesiest of the cheesy activities on a cruise ship. It’s good to know that we’ve escaped the karaoke scene on land, but only to find out the ship has one onboard. If you are the jolly, singing person, who always seem to be tone deaf, better to steer clear of this spot and make a mental note not to accidentally step foot in it again. It’s hard to turn down an invite in a karaoke bar in the middle of the ocean.
Have you ever gone skydiving before? If you have, we would never think of you trying out that big tube in the cruise ship they call skydiving. It is less child’s play and more embarrassing and cheesy. To those with the passion to try out new things, but without the cojones to do so, this is the next best thing. These tubes stand more than 20-feet tall and have a very, very strong industrial fan at the bottom. We dare you to risk it and try one of these things.
14 Ice Skating
How big and how much space do these cruise ships really have, to be able to construct an ice rink inside? Pretty big apparently. There are quite a few of these cruise ships around with an ice rink inside. It’s nice to know that whenever we feel the need to ice skate, it’s an open invitation. If we are lucky enough, we might even book a cruise where they have ice rink shows like the Ice Capades. Cheesy enough for you?
13 Celebrity-Themed Cruises
Themed cruises with celebrities aboard have been a crowd-getter for the cruise ship industry for a long time now. Many celebrities have vacationed with their fans in week-long cruises, performing daily and interacting with fans. There are a number of themed cruises that are so cheesy we cannot bring ourselves to book them. But there are also good ones, like the Backstreet Boys cruise. It is cheesy, we’ll say that, but if you grew up with these five boys and sang their songs in your adolescent and young adult life, a cruise with them is worth all the cheesiness in the world.
12 Surf Simulators
Some people surf on cruise ships when the ocean is literally right there. Of course, the route of cruise ships does not go to wavy areas perfect for surfing, hence the idea of surf simulators on cruises. But if you are a bona fide surfer, would you fall into the trap and try the surf simulator? Maybe it’s the same, maybe you want to showboat. Or is that embarrassing feeling stronger than the rest? It’s your call, surf’s up dude!
11 Deck Parties
Deck parties in a metal monstrosity in the middle of the ocean is not one thing that we have listed on our bucket list, but maybe it’s on yours. But more often than not, these parties on cruises tend to be overcrowded and cramped. Making the party more of an obligation, rather than something one would really enjoy. Sometimes, there is a sense of adventure going to a party where everybody’s a stranger and getting to know someone is the name of the game. But while on a cruise, really?
10 Art Auctions
Are there really good pieces of art in a cruise ship’s art auction? It’s a good question and one we have not dared answer for ourselves yet. We don’t really know how these auctions would work and how high the bids go on a certain piece. Maybe they are not expensive, maybe people go there to experience a legitimate art auction, and perhaps win a bid on one item. Hang it in the den at home, what a nice souvenir.
9 Theme-Based Crew Uniforms
As crazy and extravagant as these cruise ship activities are, it’s only required for the crew to be as crazy, if not more when it comes to their outfits. The crew is in it for the entertainment, they will say yes to any good idea for the sake of passenger happiness. The most popular crew uniforms we’ve seen are the Star Trek uniforms donned by the crew, complete with the captain and all hands on deck. But there were no Spock's ears, they said it was too cheesy, haha!
8 Themed Parties
Cheesy cruise parties cannot get any cheesier than themed ones. To find on a ship at least three Madonnas and five Michael Jackson’s can be too much for anyone. But it seemed to make a lot of people happy, for themed parties on cruise ships are as common as Elvis in Las Vegas. If you ever chance upon the activity on your cruise, just be ready with your theme party costumes. Cover the 80s and the 90s, and you should be good to go.
7 Flash Mobs
This would not be on the list if this article was published a decade ago. Flash mobs are so 2005, that doing it today would be just cheesy. Flash mobs, incidentally, had a different meaning before it became what we know today. It was then a term for criminal acts, robberies, done by boys and young men. Luckily today, flash mobs are dance surprises usually used as a prelude to a bigger surprise targeting an unsuspecting individual or group.
6 Car Racing
Along the lines of the surf simulators and the skydiving tube, F1 car racing can now be experienced in a cruise. MSC has simulators that give the rider the feeling of being a race car driver, not just any race car, but Formula One. If you want the real thing, the Norwegian has an actual race track that fits 10 carts and goes up to 30 miles per hour. We’re sure a bigger track is in the works, we just can’t imagine where they’re going to put it.
5 Bionic Bar
The Bionic Bar features robots for bartenders instead of real live bartenders. If you look forward to chatting up the bartender, the Bionic Bar is not the place for you. You can try, but you won’t get a straight answer, just buzzes and beeps, and the occasional mechanical grunt. The robot bartenders mix precision drinks and serve them, too. Lucky for us, they don’t accept tips. But they never overpour the liquor, either. Let’s just call it a stalemate, then.
4 Miniature Golf
Putting at sea is now made possible by cruise ships. Do you want to play 18 holes during your cruise vacation and catch up on your strokes on the green? Then you are in for a treat. Miniature golf facilities on cruises are a tad smaller, but it does the trick. Don’t bother bringing your clubs, they have a good selection ready for use. Maybe it is the right time to finally teach your children or partner the fine game of golf.
3 Food Trucks
The first ever food truck to get aboard a cruise ship is the Seaplex Dog House. Do not get confused, it’s a food truck that drove itself on a ship, to cater to the ship’s passengers. How long before this idea becomes a hot item in the food truck and cruise ship business? We can already see a section of the ship called Food Trucks at Sea, or Food Amphibians since they are trucks that travel by water as well.
2 Cruise Ship Photos
This is like that graduation photo we all take, it is inevitable. No matter how cheesy it is and how reluctant we are to do it when our loved one asks us to pose, we cannot say no. Put on a decent enough smile, do not make this already embarrassing moment more immortalized with an awkward smile. This is just something we have to do on a cruise, but it is in fact, the cheesiest of them all. Bon voyage and say cheese!
1 Game Show Themed Programs
It does not get any cheesier than game shows on cruise ships, well, actually we have a long ways to go in this article, so just wait. The cruise ship entertainment producers knock off famous game shows and make it a “cruise version” with some rules dropped here and there. They have newlywed games, the battle of the genders, and even live singing competitions. Any takers? These game show programs are an array of one embarrassing moment after another, so be ready to get your “red face on.”